Student Behavior Guidelines (Rules & Regulations for Your Club)

I started & hosted a social group for teenagers and both optimistic & naively avoided making any kind of behavior standards document or rules. Then within a very short period of time I witnessed a clear racial prejudice, inappropriate phone images being shared and had a student over share about her personal life leaving us with some tough situations to navigate.

I needed a guide as a plum line for getting through these situations. So I made a “Student Behavior Guidelines.”

Hi, I’m Bethany and in this video I’ll walk you through my clubs guidelines and hopefully help you create one for your organization.

Start by making a document that answers the who, what, where, when, why and how of your group. List out all the best and worst things that happen, issues that are causing you stress, and just make a "brain dump" of everything that comes to mind when you think about managing your group.

Indicate where this document will always be posted, where participants should keep it or how they can find it. This is a public statement about the desire for this document to be accessible and able to be used.

The first paragraph should include these things: what you hope participants learn or do in your group, how you want them to grow or develop, what kind of aspirations or standards your group aims towards, state that the leaders hope this document helps to aid in achieving all these goals.

The next paragraph should be titled: expectations for (name of your group) & their Guardians
-list all the most important positive behaviors & outcomes of participants (emotionally, relationally, how they should contribute, what atmosphere they should aim to bring, how they should treat others, etc.)

Then you will make a list titled: Unacceptable behaviors include, but are not limited to:
Here is my list (but you will have to come up with your own)…

-viewing or sharing inappropriate social media, photos, memes, gifs, scrolling, etc.
-bullying; ghosting; ignoring or hurtfully excluding others
-drugs, alcohol, smoking, vaping, etc.
-nudity, inappropriate clothing, inappropriate sexual behavior
-fighting (physical or verbal), cursing/bad language
-intentional destruction of property
-disrespect for authority

Your next paragraph should be a brief description of what will happen if unacceptable behaviors occur. You will have to come up with your own process, but I’ll show you mine that might serve as inspiration:

If a student is behaving in an unacceptable manner, the Coach or Wingman will either request them to stop, request them to stop and contact their parents, or immediately contact their parents, depending on the severity of the behavior. Failure to comply with the above expectations could result in participants being asked to leave an event with their parents being told why the request was made. Severe infractions and/or failure to appropriately resolve violations could result in a request that the student no longer attend MAD events. The Coach & Wingman will work hard to keep this from ever happening.

The next paragraph should be about how you will handle problems that come up between participants in your group. There are a lot of options for dealing with relational issues as a leader, so you will have to make this paragraph custom to your group. Here is what I have for my club…

Things that happen between families who participate in MAD are not the Coach or Wingman’s responsibility to monitor or fix. If an incident affects the MAD events, the Coach or Wingman would consider offering guidance, but it is not their responsibility to navigate situations that didn't directly occur at their event or on the social media platforms created by MAD.

These issues will have to be dealt with carefully (and Spirit-led) on a case-by-case basis. Oftentimes, one or both parties involved will wish things had been handled differently or that the outcomes had produced different results. We hope to find solutions that will help to preserve MAD and the identity/honor of each individual involved. As long as everyone involved is willing to accept ownership for their mistakes and learn from them, everything should work together for good.

If something bad happens, there needs to be a clear way for someone to be restored again so you will want to include (show next to me)These are the steps that will allow a teen to come back to a MAD after a rule has been broken: Here are mine as inspiration...
1) leaders, student, student's guardians and/or the Coach & Wingman will have a meeting to discuss the infraction
2) the student and their guardian must sign a commitment that the behavior will not happen again or it might be decided that MAD is not the best activity for the student (which is not intended for hurting anyone involved)
3) apologies need to be made if the situation requires it for reconciliation and boundaries set if the situation requires it
4) feelings will be validated and forgiveness granted so the relationships of those involved can be made whole, made stronger and everyone can go back to having fun!

Ok, your next paragraph will include what the leaders are committing to with regards to supervision levels. Answer the who, what, where, when, why & how of the supervision provided (and not provided) by your group.

Then, include either a Faith Statement, Mission Statement, inclusivity, extra criteria or important resources for your group that need stated.

After all this, it would be nice to include some kind of statement that admits that you are not perfect, you won’t be a perfect leader, but you will be trying your best to be your best and lead with integrity. Make sure that’s actually a true statement if you put it in writing. I have been part of a couple groups where the leader would never have been humble enough to make this kind of claim.

Lastly, have an “other” paragraph. Go back to that brainstorming document you made about your group. What is in there that you have not addressed in your new guidelines document? In my “other” paragraph I talk about how I became friends with the kids in my group. This means that sometimes I find out about things that leave me in a place where I have to use my own judgment on what to do with that information. But regardless, I welcome feedback and healthy communication with my students and their parents.

The Student Behavior Guidelines apply at all locations where MAD might venture to go together.

By signing this document, the students are agreeing that their guardians will always know when they are attending a MAD event and the student is accepting accountability for their behavior at all MAD events.

Both the student and the guardians are agreeing to support the mission and expectations listed in this form.

Each Student in your family participating & at least one guardian must sign and date, print this last page and return it.

Hint: Insert the names of the facilities that would be at risk of a lawsuit if someone gets injured as not being responsible.

I worked very hard to come up with these guidelines for my club. I found other similar documents online for clubs with the same kind of goals & activities, we had lots of people read it and edit it with us, especially guardians whose kids were in my club. Take the time to get this right by researching, getting other’s input and revisiting your guidelines document at least once a year to make changes or improve it. Or just to be proud of what you have accomplished ;)

I have quite a few videos on leading clubs and leading them well…check one of them out :)

~Bethany